Annalise Cain is a theatre artist from Massachusetts. She is the recipient of the 2017 National Partners of the American Theater Playwriting Award. She is the 2023 candidate for Indiana University’s MFA in Playwriting. She has a BFA in Theatre Arts from Boston University. In 2018, she attended the O'Neill Conference as a Playwright Observer. Her plays, What Screams I Hear Are Mine and A Brief History . . . have both been semi-finalists for the O’Neill Theater Conference. Her work appeared in Applause Theatre and Cinema Books’ Best Men’s Monologues from New Plays 2019. Her work has been developed by the Tribe Theatre Company, Playhouse on Park, Queens Theatre, Violet Surprise, Strident Theatre, Emerging Artists’ Theatre, Brimmer Theatre and BU’s School of Theatre. In 2016, she co-founded the Clementine Collective, a small theater collective dedicated to producing new and neglected works and connecting young artists.

Hurry Up and Wait

Characters:

GEMMA: Mid to late 20s.  RAISEL: Mid to late 20s, uses a wheelchair
Gemma and Raisel are a mixed-race couple. Ideally, Raisel is a disabled BIPOC, but a white disabled actor may also perform the role.

Setting:

At the bottom of the stairs of a city hall in So Cal.

Time:

Present.

RAISEL, dressed in a modest wedding dress, waits at the bottom of the stairs. She takes a deep breath—the eye of the storm. Offstage, we can hear an argument. Suddenly, GEMMA bursts through the door (in a dapper outfit she threw together this morning), and yells one last thing through the door.

GEMMA
(Offstage) And don’t you think for a second I’m joking about calling for that recount! It’s no mystery why District 12 looks like a crooked wiener! I’m ON to you, Kevinson!

And she slams the door. Under her breath, as she descends the stairs.

Un-accommodating, gerrymandering breeder!

She sits down on the final step.

RAISEL
Did you ask for facilities?

GEMMA
Fucking asshole. This is a government building, for fuck’s sake, how can they not have an accessible entrance?!

RAISEL
They have other things to fund—

GEMMA
Oh yeah, like what? To stuff those useless cops’ salaries for gesturing vaguely on that downtown intersection?? Instead of ACTUALLY installing a crossing signal, which would save, what, thousands? Tens of thousands? And save how many of us from how many bike accidents annually? Going in there is like watching my tax dollars get pissed on. Just wait, tomorrow I’m gonna be busting down doors—

RAISEL
I think you’ve busted down enough doors for today.

GEMMA approaches RAISEL.

GEMMA
Babe, the fight never ends—you know that.

RAISEL
Mhm.

GEMMA goes in for a kiss, but RAISEL interrupts her.

RAISEL (CONT)
Are—facilities on their way?

GEMMA
I don’t know—I didn’t—

RAISEL
Was there someone in the entirety of that building who could help lift me? Someone you didn’t yell at?

GEMMA
Raisel, we’re not getting married in that—that monument to ableism!

RAISEL
Did you even call to check?

GEMMA
What do you mean?

RAISEL
Did you call to check if they had an accessible entrance?

Short pause.

GEMMA
It’s a government building, I assumed that—

RAISEL
Well, I think that’s our problem right there.

GEMMA
They’re legally obligated to—

RAISEL
So?

GEMMA
I don’t get how I suddenly became the bad guy here.

RAISEL takes a deep breath.

RAISEL
Some things require planning—

GEMMA laughs.

GEMMA
Oh no no no, I think we need to go over exactly what happened Wednesday morning, Ms. Horowitz: I’m sleeping in on my one day off, and I am forcefully awakened by my stunning girlfriend of 3 years who says “We should get married on Friday.”

RAISEL tries to interrupt.

To which I say, “Isn’t that a little impulsive? We might want time to prepare—" And the girlfriend in question sits up and swears: “No! I’m done making excuses! Financial stability is a myth! To hell with ‘waiting for the right time’! This Friday, I will marry you at City Hall come hell or high water!”

RAISEL
You’re neglecting a central part of this arrangement /

GEMMA
/ What am I—

RAISEL
/ That you said you would take care of the details.

GEMMA
There’s no way I could’ve foreseen this!

RAISEL
I could have.

Beat.

GEMMA
Raisel, it is before 10 AM on a weekday, and I have already physically intimidated at least three government employees. What is this about?

RAISEL
Who asked you to go all middle-aged-white-lady on them?

GEMMA
Nobody needs to ask me—

RAISEL
I don’t need you to prove your righteous anger every time—

GEMMA
But don’t you get mad?!

RAISEL
YES!

GEMMA
Don’t you just wanna go ripshit on the whole fucking bureaucracy!

RAISEL
Sometimes, sure! But does that help us get married?.

GEMMA
It’s the principle of the thing!

RAISEL
And was it about the principle of the thing when you screamed at that 16-year-old at the garden center about my arm getting scraped in a narrow aisle?

GEMMA
It’s her job—

RAISEL
What about the time you saw that car parked illegally in the accessible spot, so you smeared dog shit on the windshield?

GEMMA
Ok, you definitely thought that was funny.

RAISEL
You left me in the car for a half an hour while you looked for dog shit, and I never even got my fucking Doritos!

Beat.

Do you know why I woke you up on Wednesday?

GEMMA
Cause you could’t wait.

RAISEL
Cause you yell at me when I don’t take the recycling out.

GEMMA
Well, yeah, it’s fucking annoying.

RAISEL
Cause of your passive aggressive Post-it notes. And cause you call me out when I’m being a baby. You refuse to be gentle. And I love that, I do.

GEMMA
But…

RAISEL
But if you lose your shit every time something gets in my way, we’re not gonna be able to do this.

GEMMA
I don’t mean to lose my shit. I just want you to be able to do everything you want to—

RAISEL
Nobody gets to do everything they want to!

GEMMA
But that doesn’t mean—

RAISEL
I don’t want my life to be a constant battle! Sometimes, I just want to be a person. And sometimes that involves staring disrespect right in the face, and waiting patiently.

GEMMA
I don’t know if I can do that.

RAISEL
Then I don’t know if this is meant to be.

GEMMA
El—

RAISEL
I want to do this, I really want to do this. I want to be able to pick up and take a cross country road trip, or build a cabin in the woods, or just get married like that! But when I just jump in without all the prep work . . . I know it’s not my fault, but at the end of the day, I’m a magnet for this kinda shit. I want to spend my life with you, but I hate—reining you in like this—

GEMMA
Whoa, whoa—

RAISEL
I know, I know, I—it’s fucked—

GEMMA
You don’t—

RAISEL
I don’t need to hear it from you.

GEMMA
Our lives are . . . different—

RAISEL
I KNOW! I know our lives are different!

Beat. GEMMA sinks.

GEMMA
I don’t know what you want me to say—

RAISEL
This isn’t me backing out—

GEMMA
I think you’ve made yourself pretty clear.

Beat.

Do you wanna go back to the WASPY Mother Teresa types?

RAISEL
Gemma, no—

GEMMA
You want somebody to go, poor, delicate Raisel? Better not ruffle her feathers? Better not touch her, or she just might break?

RAISEL
Stop it—

GEMMA
Well, I’m not a babysitter, I’m not a nurse, I don’t have a fetish—and I wouldn’t ever treat you that way, even if that’s what you think you want.

RAISEL
Can you just admit that I’m holding you back? ​

GEMMA walks over to her and restrains her in some way.

GEMMA
THIS is holding somebody back. / Is this what you’re doing? Is it?!

RAISEL
Gemma, get OFF!

RAISEL knocks her over, and GEMMA falls to the ground.

RAISEL
Gemma, / shit, are you ok?

GEMMA
/ fuckkkkkk

RAISEL goes over to her, and tries to help her up.

RAISEL
Is it your shoulder?

GEMMA
No, no—it’s my—

GEMMA and RAISEL
Ankle.

GEMMA
Hey, third time’s the charm.

RAISEL
Hello! Excuse me! Can we get some help out here!

GEMMA
Just gimme a second—

GEMMA tries to get onto her foot, and she topples.

RAISEL
HELLO!! WE’VE GOT A TWISTED ANKLE OUT HERE! HELLO!!!

RAISEL grabs her shoe and is about to throw it up at the window, butGEMMA stops her.

GEMMA
El, don’t! Just head around back to the loading dock.

Beat.

RAISEL
There’s a loading dock?

GEMMA
Sort of.

RAISEL
What does that—there either isn’t one or there is. Which is it, Gemma?

GEMMA
It’s a service elevator. For trash and recycling. That’s their accessible entrance.

Pause.

I just didn’t want you to have to use that, to feel like that, on your fucking wedding day.

RAISEL
Gemma, I—

RAISEL rolls towards her and accidentally nudges her ankle, and she cries out.

GEMMA
AAAAAHHHH—before we, do the, can you call a—

RAISEL
Uber XL.

GEMMA takes out her phone.

GEMMA
The bus is coming in like, 8 minutes—

RAISEL
You’re full time now, we can afford to—

GEMMA
Paychecks come in on Tuesday.

RAISEL
Bus it is.

RAISEL buries herself in her phone.

7 minutes.

A beat. GEMMA makes a raspberry sound. RAISEL looks on, amused. GEMMA keeps making noises to entertain herself.

GEMMA
How / much—

RAISEL
12 minutes.

GEMMA
How did it take longer?!

RAISEL
Traffic.

GEMMA
Ughhhhh.

The sound of a jangling dog collar. GEMMA notices something across the street. RAISEL sees it too. GEMMA begins laughing. RAISEL tries to keep it in, but fails.

Don’t tell me you didn’t see that! How did that little thing make a—it’s massive!! It’s half its size! I think that is the single biggest piece of dog shit I’ve ever seen in my life.

She’s cracked: RAISEL begins giggling, then laughing.

RAISEL
It—it—it could . . .

GEMMA
What?

RAISEL
It—it could be its own territory—

They laugh together. A beat or two after they stop.

GEMMA
You aren’t even thinking about it?

RAISEL
What good would it do?

GEMMA
Cause it feels fucking awesome. Come on. You don’t have to marry me, but you have to smear that on—

RAISEL
This isn't some strangers’ car—I could be arrested!

GEMMA clucks like a chicken.

Excuse me?

GEMMA
Hmm?

RAISEL
Did you have something to say?

GEMMA
No, no, nothing.

GEMMA settles into the ground, then clucks like a chicken again. RAISEL huffs, then wheels offstage.

Come on, come on. NO! No, that’s just a little piece of it! You want the whole mound! There ya go!

She comes back onstage with the dog shit in a baggie in her hands. She takes it, and smears it all on the top step with such joy.

RAISEL
VIVE LA RESISTANCE!

She leaves it there like the button on a musical number. Somehow they managea kiss.

GEMMA
You got any plans tomorrow?

RAISEL
Ugh, yeah, sorry, I would love to hang out, it’s just, I’m marrying this girl--

GEMMA
Oh yeah?

RAISEL
Yeah, she’s so sweet, we like to smear dog shit on government buildings together.

GEMMA
She’s got a hobby, that’s good—

RAISEL kisses her again.

BLACKOUT.