Megan Tripaldi (She/They) is an actor, internationally produced playwright, educator, and mom living and working in Portland, ME. They graduated from the University of Southern Maine with a BA in Theatre in 2012 and received a Masters Degree in Playwriting from Goddard College in 2023.

Living Bones

Setting:

A dark, dead-end hallway in a science museum, the “Nursing Mother’s” area.

We hear screams, panic, and the mechanical roar of a dinosaur. Interchanged with the chaos we hear teachers offstage shouting directions at students and other teachers.

MAURA
(offstage) Eleanor, Marcus get away from it! No, don’t go / over to it, it’s going to - No, come this way! THIS WAY!!

SIOBHAN
(offstage) Run to the parking lot and wait on the bus! GO!

MAURA
(offstage) No, it’s ok, it’s ok! Can you walk? Ok - yes, go with Ms. Phillips, follow -

SIOBHAN
(offstage) Head in with the kids! Ms. Clarke and I are going to do a sweep -

MAURA
(offstage) Marjorie, please - no, it’s fine, GO!

SIOBHAN and MAURA come flying around a corner. More crashing and roaring offstage. They both double over, catching their breath. SIOBHAN peeks around the corner.

SIOBHAN
Oh my god...

MAURA
Is it - ?

SIOBHAN
No, it’s still going.

MAURA
Shouldn’t there be a - a - a switch? A, uh...oh god, what word am I - ?

SIOBHAN
Fail-safe? / Kill switch?

MAURA
No, uh - yeah, either works.

SIOBHAN
Christ.

MAURA
Oh my god, it’s a dead end!

SIOBHAN
What? I thought this was the way back to the fossils?

MAURA
(pointing to a sign) No, it’s the nursing mother’s area. Come ooooon!

SIOBHAN
Why is this in a sketchy dark corner!?

MAURA
Because...I don’t know, it makes no sense to me!

SIOBHAN
Me neither!

MAURA/SIOBHAN
GAHHH!

MAURA
Is it - are we, like, safe here?

SIOBHAN
I mean...

SIOBHAN looks very cautiously around the corner.

It’s on the other side of the room so, yeah for now, I guess.

MAURA
I don’t - I mean who would build that?

SIOBHAN
Engineers.

MAURA
Ok, Siobhan.

SIOBHAN finally sinks to the ground.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey you ok? / You good?

SIOBHAN
Yean - Yeah I just -

SIOBHAN slaps her hand, then gives the thumbs up

MAURA
Ok. No, yeah. Ok.

Beat. MAURA paces, then takes a look around the corner.

(suddenly to no one) Fuck! Fuck, fuck!

MAURA covers her mouth, aware that she’s still technically at a school thing.

Oh! Fudge! I meant fudge!

SIOBHAN
Maura - Maura! It’s ok.

MAURA
Okay.

SIOBHAN
It’s ok, all the kids are with Marjorie.

MAURA
Oh.

SIOBHAN
Right?

MAURA
Right. Right, right. Do you think we’ll be able to get back to them - ?

SIOBHAN
I think it will be a while.

MAURA
Fuck.

Pause. MAURA sinks next to SIOBHAN. Roaring. Crashing. They are suddenly very calm.

Hey, you ever accidentally swear in front of the kids?

SIOBHAN
Hmm? Oh, yeah sure.

MAURA
How many times? Like, if you had to put a number to it, or - ?

SIOBHAN
Just twice.

MAURA
Twice?

SIOBHAN
Yup. Twice.

MAURA
That’s it?

SIOBHAN
What are you trying to say, Maura?

MAURA
No, nothing! Nothing...

SIOBHAN
Uh huh.

MAURA
So, like, what happened? To make you -

SIOBHAN
First time was when I was a student teacher. I got my finger stuck in a kindergartner’s coat zipper trying to get it unstuck and I said ‘shit.’ The look on this kid’s face - I gave up and let her play outside in February with her coat unzipped.

MAURA
And the second time?

SIOBHAN
Kid whipped a jump rope at me last year and hit me just above my eye. I think it was ‘goddamnit’ or something.

MAURA
Wait, that sounds familiar. Was I there for that?

SIOBHAN
Yup. I think so -

MAURA
Yeah, yeah! Oh my god, Tommy Wilcox?

SIOBHAN
Tommy Fucking Wilcox.

MAURA
Patricia has him this year, right?

SIOBHAN
Heaven help her.

MAURA
No, I’ve heard he’s calmed down a bit.

SIOBHAN
Uh huh.

MAURA
No, really! Patricia said he’s more focused.

SIOBHAN
What do they have him on?

MAURA
(feigning indignance) I - you can’t - you can’t just - !

SIOBHAN snorts. MAURA leans in conspiratorially.

I can’t say for sure, I haven’t seen his file, but we all know it’s probably / Adderall.

SIOBHAN
Adderall. Yup. Of course it is.

A particularly loud roar. MAURA leans across SIOBHAN to check around the corner.

Ow, that was my hand - !

MAURA
Sorry, sorry -

SIOBHAN
Look, there’s no way we’re getting out there now if that thing is still going.

MAURA
No, I know, just - you’re sure we got them all - ?

SIOBHAN
The kids?

MAURA
Yeah. I just - in all the chaos I might have missed something.

SIOBHAN
I wish I knew better, but honestly? I don’t know.

MAURA
Oh god...

SIOBHAN
Look, Marjorie has it all under control. She’s been trained in this, she’ll be fine.

MAURA
Trained in what, rescuing children from an out of control animatronic dinosaur exhibit?

SIOBHAN
...in emergency evacuation scenarios?

MAURA
What emergency evacuation scenarios? Wait, like lockdown drills?

SIOBHAN
Yeah. We do them every year -

MAURA
That’s not the same thing! Not even close!

SIOBHAN
Ok, well how would you suggest we train for something like this?

MAURA
I - um -

SIOBHAN
Uh huh! See!

MAURA
No, I’m just - Oh! Ok!

SIOBHAN
You got it?

MAURA
Yeah!

SIOBHAN
Give it to me.

MAURA
A yearly screening of Night at the Museum.

They stare at each other for a long time, then burst out laughing.

No, really I got nothing. There’s no training for this, it’s ridiculous.

SIOBHAN
Honestly, I thought you were going to say Jurassic Park.

MAURA
It felt too obvious.

SIOBHAN
Yeah, well -

A roar and a VERY close crash.

Shit!

They both stand up and back away from the corner.

That was really close...

MAURA
Oh god.

MAURA starts to hyperventilate.

SIOBAHN
Hey. Hey, look at me.

MAURA
I can’t do this -

SIOBHAN
It’s ok. It’s ok um...hey, tell me the last time you swore in front of the kids.

MAURA
Never.

SIOBHAN
Never?

MAURA nods.

SIOBHAN
Not even once?

MAURA shakes her head.

Jesus. Nev - ? No, it’s fine. Uh, ok. Ok, ok - Three things!

MAURA raises an eyebrow at SIOBHAN.

Look for three things in the room. Tell me what they are.

MAURA
I - mm, I don’t know -

SIOBHAN
Just try, ok? Can I take your hand?

SIOBHAN nods.

I need a verbal yes.

MAURA
Yes. Yes, you can take my hand.

SIOBHAN
Ok.

SIOBHAN takes MAURA’S hand.

Three things.

MAURA
Um, ok. Uh, uh - ok the sign for breastfeeding mothers.

SIOBHAN
Good. Number two?

MAURA
Um, um, um...this really funky carpet that’s probably from the ‘80s?

SIOBHAN
Totally. One more.

MAURA
Uhhh - That air vent above us?

SIOBHAN
Wait - what?

MAURA is catching her breath, but points to a vent above them.

Holy shit. Do you think if - ?

MAURA
I’m severely claustrophobic.

SIOBHAN
Well, I’m not! Look, I’m not going to leave you for long, I’m just going to -

MAURA
You’re going to leave me!?

SIOBHAN
Well, I just - I mean no. No, of course not.

SIOBHAN slumps to the ground. Beat..

MAURA
Uuuugh fuck! Ok.

SIOBHAN
Ok?

MAURA
Fuck my anxiety. Give me a boost.

SIOBHAN
Oh my god, are you - ?

MAURA
I don’t know, just go with it. Put your leg - ?

SIOBHAN
Ok, no yeah, we’re doing this.

SIOBHAN kneels so MAURA can stand on her knee. MAURA peers into the vent.

MAURA
Except...there is no way we’re going to fit.

SIOBHAN
What? No, it looks - Let me see.

They switch positions.

SIOBHAN
Shit.

SIOBHAN gets down.

So we’re stuck

MAURA
Unless...unless we just go for it?

SIOBHAN
Seriously? Just run out there?

MAURA
Fuck it. (Off SIOBHAN’s look) I’m just really tired of being afraid.

SIOBHAN
What better way to tackle that fear than face an out of control mechanical dinosaur?

MAURA
Exactly.

Pause. SIOBHAN is hesitating.

I swore in front of my whole class last month.

SIOBHAN
What?

MAURA nods.

Oh my god, I knew it.

MAURA
How ‘bout I tell you about it on the way out?

SIOBHAN
I-

SIOBHAN takes one last look and a deep breath.

Deal.

They go to the corner and take hands. They look at each other - one, two, three - and then they run. There is one last ROAR. Blackout.